also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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