Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
