I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
