all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
my liver is dry heaving
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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