Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
