I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
