He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Randomize
