I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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