Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
