I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
