no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
