??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
