Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
