I bet he comes in French.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize