I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i dont even know how to be here
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
