No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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