I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
