Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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