Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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