Will you blow on my dice?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
