I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
