Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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