bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
