hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
