Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
