Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
