I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
