He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
