just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
