Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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