I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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