Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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