I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize