Where is the hickey?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
