we're chasing vodka with high fives
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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