Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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