Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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