Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
