I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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