:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize