3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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