There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I am available for nakedness
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
