Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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