I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
