I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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