If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
