We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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