ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
