did you get engaged???
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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