just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i dont even know how to be here
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
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