Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
