hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
