dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
