The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize