She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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