Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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