Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
he laminated a picture of his dick.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
