The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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