We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Randomize
