yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
