im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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