we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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