So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize