I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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