Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
